Spiritual Reflections

To Hell with Flirting

[Disclaimer: This blog is my personal view on flirting. I am not a theologian, pastor, psychologist or therapist. So spare me please, I’m just ranting here.]

I have not been a playboy during high school or college (or even up to my young adult years). In fact, I was the torpe guy. The only reason I didn’t have any relationship during my teenage years was my endemic hesitation and shyness to actually court a girl – and I had a lot of crushes then, just like any other normal guy.

I both admire and dislike flirts. I dislike them because they remind me of my own timidity. My admiration for them is because of my timidity. Yet thinking back, I realized that I myself did flirted a lot. It’s just that I did so unknowingly . Teasing girls to test if they have any interest in me, baiting them with lovely words to purposely create a spark… these are but some of the flirtatious things I admit that I am guilty to. 

It’s quite interesting to know that the internet offers a lot of opinions with regards to flirting – the search word “flirt” alone produces 2,320,000 hits, most of which are blog articles giving advise on do’s and don’ts of flirting.

Which begs the question: Why flirt?

I’ve been thinking of that question for several days, and what I’ve come to realize is there’s really no justifiable reason why we should flirt. Does that make it wrong to flirt? Personally, I’d say no about the act itself. But how it affects us and others around us is wrong. According to Merriam-Webster, flirting means “to behave amorously without serious intent” and/or “to show superficial or casual interest or liking”. And believe me, I’d hate someone who plays around with my feelings.

Here are two simple reasons why we should not indulge in flirting:

  • False expectations: It’s not serious, so what do you expect to happen?
  • Temporary excitement: Don’t expect a flirt to flirt with you and you alone forever

As a Christian, I would have to say NO to flirting. I guess that statement is almost as impossible as saying NO to extra rice, upsized/refillable softdrinks, and free chocolate. All of which are actually doable – except that the temptation is almost heart-wrenching. The whole world is egging us to do their thing, teaching us that the best way into a relationship is through flirting. But there are better ways to win a person’s heart – if indeed it is one’s heart that we are after.

So, do I go to hell for flirting?

Well, I can’t really answer that question. But I am quite sure that if you don’t stop flirting soon, your life’s gonna be hell. Seriously, you don’t want to be on that hot seat.

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