Introspections & Retrospections

Sleepless in Makati… Brainless, Too.

I realized too late what the worst thing is that can happen when you’re rushing on a deadline. It’s not a crashed computer, or dogs/cats/mice/iguanas chewing up your paper. It’s not a power failure, or lost internet connection. It’s not even illness, or heartaches… or the usual sleepiness.

The worst thing you can have is an uncooperative, unproductive brain. 

Just imagine having all the resources, all the energy… but zero ideas. Zilch.You sit there in front of the computer, staring for an indeterminable period of time. You poise your pencil or pen on a paper, just anticipating that spark of inspiration.

And nothing happens.

I could just imagine Clark Kent ripping off his clothes, only to expose a beer gut. And while in mid-air, he realizes that the whole Krypton thing was just a dream.

Splurch.

And so I sit back in retrospect thought. Is this a side effect of caffeine overdose? Do I need more sleep? Was my cosmic source of ideas tapped out when I keep using my brain for crazy love quotes? Was the horrific amount of preservatives from countless packs of instant noodles avenging themselves on me tonight? Am I subconsciously thinking of something else, or someone? Or maybe my mind just chose this perfect timing to have a mind of its own?

Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: I’m stuck with deadlines, time is daintily skipping in sarcastic stride, and I can’t even sleep – that I blame on those mugfuls of extra strong brewed coffee (which I don’t regret enjoying haha).

So here I am still, staring at the screen, just typing out whatever comes to my mind (censored parts NOT included), in hope that by streaming these thoughts, the creative arteries of my currently inutile brain will get unclogged. Who knows? Maybe these semi-atrophied brain cells only need some mental exercise.

And now, I’m drained of useful thoughts.

Except… Never mind.

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait pas.

Stubborn brain. You too, heart.

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