Introspections & Retrospections

Rabid Thoughts

[My thoughts last night while letting the HBP episode and depression pass]

8:00PM | ParaƱaque

I just don’t want to be a burden or be a hindrance to anyone, I just want to leave behind smiles and happy memories. I don’t dream to be part of some grand history – I’ve grown past that childish whim…

Whatever trace of words of my existence may survive the times are but meaningless. Do I want to inspire generations? Do I want to touch lives? Do I want to influence fleeting moments of seeming inconsequentiality? Do I merely express out of prideful ego, of insatiable envy, of unbearable loneliness, of spiteful anger or senseless fear?

Fear. Am I afraid of losing my very existence?

Am I here – now, before, after?

Why do I stay? Why should I be?

What is existence?

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