Introspections & Retrospections

#Target130: First Milestone

I’ve been tweeting this hashtag for a long while. While some have guessed it outright, a lot of my friends couldn’t help but ask, “What is #Target130?”

Basically, it’s literally my weight target: 130 lbs. I was around 185 lbs at that time.

Truthfully, it’s more than just a personal weight-loss commitment. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s a mindset change.

#Target130 started early this year. It was birthed when I found out about our church‘s first family camp: FIT TO WIN. But God was personally dealing with me on this. I needed to be fit — not just for my own sake, but for other’s sake as well. I needed to be stronger, healthier, better so I can continue doing what I love: being a kuya to our youth and helping other people. 

I know from my past attempts and failures that I can’t be half-hearted, or have a wrong focus. Losing weight is just a start. I needed something that goes beyond the waistline. I needed to rediscover what it meant to be healthy and well. I wanted it to be something long term, something that I will enjoy and continue doing even when I have already achieved my target. Many well-meaning people wanted to give their own personal advice and tips. I appreciated all the help and support. But to achieve my own goals, I needed to create my own steps that best fit who I am. God, help me.

PHASE 1 started on February: changing my breakfast habit. The area where I lived had an awesome streetside array of affordable breakfast choices. That had to go. I started forcing myself to eat at a little karinderya which had veggie viands that were, well, pure vegetables. I discovered I could enjoy eating ginataang kalabasa & sitaw (squash & string beans cooked in coconut milk) every morning if I added a piece or two of siling labuyo (fresh labuyo chillies).

PHASE 2 started around March-April, where I started having regular walks. I would walk from the office to my place whenever the weather was okay — it took around 20-30 minutes. I would also take a 1-2 hour walk/jog several times a week, and gradually was able to make it almost a daily habit. Having enough sleep was also part of the plan, but unfortunately I couldn’t avoid some sleep deprivation due to work…

PHASE 3 started late (haha!). It’s because it entailed engaging into an intensive workout activity. Some friends keep urging me to go to their gym. I wanted to go back to muay thai training. It’s hard as hell, but I like it. The kru (instructors/mentors) are like sadistic slave-driving demons, but I enjoyed learning from them even when they love to see me almost faint yet still prod me to keep moving and hitting. I was finally able to return to training (after almost 4 years of hiatus) this August, and was happily suffering when tragedy struck.

It was the Sunday after a fire struck at our place. I was able to recover my stuff, and went to training as usual. However, something felt wrong that day. I got more easily tired. My head felt floating. I was short on breathing. But I pushed on — my trainor pushed me on. That night, I had the worst migraine imaginable and it went on til the next day. On impulse, I decided to have the company nurse check my blood pressure. The rest of the story is told in another blog.

I’m currently stuck at around 170 lbs, a far cry from my intended target. But I’m not giving up. Maybe these things happened because the enemy is trying to distract me from my commitment. Maybe these things happened as a test of my faith in God. May these things happened as an answer to my own prayer: to really make #Target130 more than just a measure of weight and waistline, and more of a measure of true health and wellness. Maybe these things happened because God was testing my faith in Him. Maybe this is happening because God, like my muaythai trainors, knows more of what I’m capable of than what I whine to think.

The doctors tell me I need to lose weight [yea, yea I already know that]; but they are also discouraging me from involving with any strenuous activity for the meantime (which includes jogging, running or muay thai training). Dieting won’t be enough. Taking the anti-lipid pills won’t be enough. I need to take a step of faith, and walk in God’s grace. This won’t be the end of #Target130. This is just the first milestone towards my goal.

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