It’s been a depressing few months. I’ve struggled to finish a manuscript, and I don’t even know if it will be published. I worry about work, because my contract’s about to end, and I still have no word from my job applications. I need new shoes to get back on my weight-loss jogging. I constantly have to monitor my own health. I miss my mom, who would have been 65 if she was still around. And yes, I just turned 35 this month.
Still, I try not to give in— not to this darkness in my mind. Because I know that there is something beyond this mood, this storm of thoughts. Something not dark and depressing. That’s why I wrote this poem:
Beyond life’s meaninglessness
Beyond the boundaries of the sky
Beyond my limited dreams’ excess
Beyond all the questions of why.
Beyond each struggle birthing pain
Beyond all hopes seemingly broken
Beyond the thunders and the rain
Beyond the troubles repeating again.
Beyond tomorrow’s uncertainty
Beyond our failed plans and promises
Beyond the sudden, the opportunity
Beyond all regrets and silent distress.
Beyond the unyielding chains of before
Beyond despair’s comforting embrace
Beyond what trials are yet in store
Beyond the last moments of our days.
Beyond the demanding cries of today
Beyond the now, the forever, what’s done
Beyond the unfairness from what we pray
Beyond the emptiness of what is gone.
Beyond, we’ll see— with our eyes, free
Beyond mortal tears— then with joy, filled
Beyond what we can imagine it to be
Beyond us waits eternity’s open field.