A poem I wrote at 2AM-ish last night / this morning. Was supposed to work on something I’m planning to submit for OMFLit’s contest, but instead— this.
There are days the sun won’t shine,
There are ways it’d still be fine;
Help me find the broken hearts,
Help me fit these broken parts.
There are things that time won’t heal,
There are pains that never will;
Lead me to the broken hearts,
Leave behind— these broken parts.
There are words we cannot say,
There are prayers we see delay;
I’m among those broken hearts,
I’m made up of broken parts.
There are hopes we’ve given up,
There are dreams we’ve waken up;
Love’s still here— in broken hearts,
Love’s still there in broken parts.
* * *
I guess this poem kinda captures a little glimpse of my own personal struggle with depression— in Christianspeak, my personal thorn-in-the-flesh. Some days, I wish I could get rid of it completely. Some days, I wonder if my faith isn’t strong enough; or worse, if God is not powerful enough. Some days, however, I’ve just learned to accept it, live with it, understand what God is teaching me, molding me through this limitation.
And I’m still learning, albeit slowly, of how God is using this very weakness in me to appreciate the full spectrum of His emotional design— feelings that I once scorned, now seen in new light. Indeed, there is no darkness in God; there are no negative emotions, only corrupted ones. And the same is true with my depression, I guess— this brokenness in my being that God is challenging me to offer to Him, even if it takes one broken fragment at a time.