Poetrics

Prayer of the Broken

Just another poem to vent out some of soul sediments.

When the truth I know
Seem blurred behind my tears
When the place I need to go
Feels distant, beyond my years
When the dreams I reach for
Fade when my troubles stirs
Father, will You be there?
Will my doubts be a bother?

When the strength I have
Waver from holding on
When my youthlike passion
Burns out, and soon gone
When my faith— once, bold
Shatters and becomes undone
Father, will You be there?
Will I hear You as You answer?

When all my hopes burst
Across the empty blue sky
When the love inside I share
Is rejected, traded for a lie
When all meaning, all purpose
Are lost without knowing why
Father, will You be there?
Will You believe in this prayer?

Having grown up as a Christian youth leader in our church during my younger years, expressing ‘negative’ emotions seem to have been treated (unintentionally, I hope) as a taboo. Often, people are quick to scold, bashing (again, with good intentions) with Bible verses and Christianese/Christianized catchphrases. As if Christianity was a religion of blind optimism, where cynicism or realism or any hint of pessisism is a *gasp* sin.

I guess that’s why when I was a teenager, I fell in love with a song by Gary Valenciano— Could You Be Messiah. It was a song so honest, so heart-achingly straightforward, that I can’t help but feel unburdened as it gently releases my pent-up tears.

The song, of course, couldn’t resonate with everything I’m actually going through. I guess that’s why I had to write my own poem— my own song, my own prayer.

And if you are like me, be confident in His grace. And write your own prayer, too.

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