Introspections & Retrospections

Let Everyone See Your Heart

Do you like her, they ask. And we balk, torn on how to respond. How do I explain it, we think, in such a way that I won’t be misunderstood, that my words won’t be mistaken for what I truly mean? How often do others listen for what they want to hear in the things we said that wasn’t what we mean?

Lub-dub.

Do you love her, they ask. And we hesitate, cautious on how to reply. How do I explain it, we ask ourselves, when I’m still trying to understand it, that my heart won’t mistake what I feel for what it truly is? How often do we look for what we want to see in the things we find that wasn’t what we’re searching for?

Lub-dub.

Is it for fear of rejection, of ridicule, or mere criticism? Why do we hide behind our justifications — these elaborate excuses masking our truest thoughts, even when they remain untrue?

And so we hide this fragile, vulnerable heart of ours.

We protect it, defend it, in the best way we can. For isn’t that how it should be: for us to fight for the weak — including these weak and helpless hearts?

Lub-dub!

But is it weak at all, this heart of ours — even if it easily breaks?

Lub-dub. Lub-dub! LUB-DUB!
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Introspections & Retrospections

Be Home For Christmas

“Hey, Ron— aren’t you going home to your family this Christmas?” an officemate asked. I smiled, an automatic response due to years of experience in answering the same set of questions every time.

Yes, Ron. Why aren’t you? Part of me asked as well.

Here I am, roughly 600 kilometers away from them— 8 hours of land travel, a single journey trip of at least a thousand Philippine pesos. And getting a bus ticket (even a plane ticket) this late is sheer horror: I have no intention of getting stressed and stranded on an overcrowded provincial bus terminal. And there’s work to talk about.

All these are pathetic excuses, really. I know. Continue reading

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