Introspections & Retrospections

When We Get There

I wonder what this coming year will bring. I learned that’s all I can really do— to wonder: in hope, in worry, in faith, in surrender, in this colorful turmoil of emotions bursting through the dark skies, momentary beauties juxtaposed on the apathy of the blank void beyond, booming sounds and tooting horns and all sorts of man-made noise heralding another end as it welcomes another beginning.

And I wonder what it’s all for: all our expectations, all our resolutions, all these plans and dreams that we keep making and breaking and burying into forgotten memories until one day we wake up and realize it’s been years, decades — and with a sheepish, regretful grin, we find ourselves in the very place we hoped to be a long time ago. But that place wasn’t what we hoped it would be. Continue reading

Advertisements
Standard
Spiritual Reflections

Was It A Morning Like This

For some reason, the music in my head that kept ringing from Christmas Eve to Christmas Morning was an old Sandi Patty song called Was It A Morning Like This — which was in no way a Christmas song.

But isn’t it?

Today, I’m reminded that this season of Christmas is all about Christ’s sacrifice: not just miraculous birth, or His redemptive death, but of His powerful resurrection as well as His imminent return.

And so, with a bit of creative license, I thought of making my own Christmas version of the song: Continue reading

Standard
Nativity Scene at Pacific Star
Spiritual Reflections

Then I Could Wish You Merry Christmas

I stare at the ATM display screen. My heart leaps. Finally, I can pay my bills! But just like a beautiful falling star, it fades away. Just barely enough to pay the bills. There goes my Christmas plans.

I stare at the computer screen, browsing through posted Christmas photos. People and pets in costumes, nice and odd presents, and food. Lots of food. I try not to be envious. I wanted to sour-grape, but even that is something I can’t afford.

I grin as I overhear an officemate’s Spotify play an old song from Christmas with the Chipmunks album. I sang along as the crittery caroler crooned about his lost two front teeth, as it brought me back to a happier time, a happier Christmas. Continue reading

Standard
Introspections & Retrospections

Let Everyone See Your Heart

Do you like her, they ask. And we balk, torn on how to respond. How do I explain it, we think, in such a way that I won’t be misunderstood, that my words won’t be mistaken for what I truly mean? How often do others listen for what they want to hear in the things we said that wasn’t what we mean?

Lub-dub.

Do you love her, they ask. And we hesitate, cautious on how to reply. How do I explain it, we ask ourselves, when I’m still trying to understand it, that my heart won’t mistake what I feel for what it truly is? How often do we look for what we want to see in the things we find that wasn’t what we’re searching for?

Lub-dub.

Is it for fear of rejection, of ridicule, or mere criticism? Why do we hide behind our justifications — these elaborate excuses masking our truest thoughts, even when they remain untrue?

And so we hide this fragile, vulnerable heart of ours.

We protect it, defend it, in the best way we can. For isn’t that how it should be: for us to fight for the weak — including these weak and helpless hearts?

Lub-dub!

But is it weak at all, this heart of ours — even if it easily breaks?

Lub-dub. Lub-dub! LUB-DUB!
Continue reading

Standard
Introspections & Retrospections

On The Book: What About Justice?

At first, when OMF Literature called for contributions on the topic of justice, I was excited. Then, I hesitated.

First, I don’t really get along with everyone’s idea of justice — especially with my fellow Christians.

Next, what’s the point? Sure, some might agree with me, and some will disagree — and so it goes again: this cycle of division.

And lastly, what do I really know about justice?

Who am I to write about it?

20841046_1603719689650179_8563589069267559032_n.jpg

Continue reading

Standard